By Rudo Kemp, Founder of Sloom
When it comes to sleep, we often focus on the basics: finding the right mattress, choosing breathable bedding, or figuring out the best position to avoid waking up with a stiff neck. But sleep is more than just physical comfort - it’s about connection. And few things capture that connection better than the simple act of spooning.
Spooning is not just a way to cuddle. It’s a quiet moment of intimacy that strengthens emotional bonds and has surprising health benefits. As someone passionate about helping South Africans create the best sleep environments, I wanted to explore why spooning feels so good and how it can shape the way we connect with the people we love most.
WHY SPOONING FEELS SO GOOD
Physical touch has a way of making everything feel a little better - and science agrees. When you spoon, your body releases oxytocin, often called the “cuddle hormone,” which promotes feelings of safety, calm, and connection. At the same time, oxytocin lowers cortisol, the stress hormone that can keep your mind racing and your body tense. The result? A sense of relaxation that prepares you for a deep, restful sleep.
But the benefits of spooning go beyond emotional well-being. Studies show that snuggling can lower blood pressure, support heart health, and even boost your immune system. According to behavioural scientist Wendy Troxel, physical touch before bed calms the nervous system, reducing your "fight or flight" response and replacing it with feelings of security and ease.
Whether you’re holding or being held, these quiet moments of closeness aren’t just comforting - they’re genuinely restorative for your mind and body.
THE BENEFITS OF SPOONING
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Strengthens Emotional Connections:
Physical touch creates a sense of safety and trust. The closeness fosters a connection that words cannot always achieve. -
Helps You Sleep Better:
Spooning encourages deep relaxation, which makes it easier to drift into restorative sleep. For many, it’s the calm they need after a busy day. -
Eases Stress:
There is something soothing about physical closeness. It can make a hard day feel less overwhelming and help you wake up feeling lighter, both emotionally and mentally. -
Improves Overall Health:
The stress-relieving effects of spooning do more than lift your mood. They can support better heart health, reduce inflammation, and even strengthen your immune system.
WHAT SPOONING POSITIONS MIGHT REVEAL ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP
How you and your partner snuggle can tell an interesting story about your relationship. While there is no right or wrong way to spoon, here is what some common positions might suggest:
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Big spoon and little spoon:
This classic setup reflects trust and a nurturing bond. The big spoon provides a sense of security, while the little spoon enjoys the comfort of being cared for. -
Face-to-face:
Lying close and facing each other suggests a deep emotional connection. It is an intimate position that leaves you vulnerable but also deeply in tune with your partner. -
The loose spoon:
If one partner leans away slightly while the other "chases," it might mean one loves their space but still craves connection. It is a balance between independence and togetherness. -
Tangled up:
Often seen in new relationships, this position reflects passion and a desire to stay close. Over time, many couples naturally shift to more relaxed positions. -
Back-to-back:
Sleeping back-to-back, with small touches like intertwined feet, reflects a healthy mix of independence and emotional connection.
CULTURAL AND SOCIAL PERSPECTIVES OF SPOONING
Spooning, like many forms of physical intimacy, is influenced by cultural norms and societal expectations. The way couples approach sleep and closeness varies worldwide, shaped by unique traditions and lifestyles.
In some cultures, close-knit sleeping arrangements are seen as essential to family life and relationships. For example, in many Asian and Middle Eastern households, physical closeness during sleep is tied to a sense of unity and belonging. In contrast, Western cultures often emphasise individual space, with some couples opting for separate beds or bedrooms to prioritise personal comfort.
Regardless of these differences, the desire for connection is universal. Spooning becomes a way to bridge the gap between cultural norms and the innate human need for closeness and security.
MODERN CHALLENGES TO SNUGGLING
In a world filled with endless distractions - work, technology, and busy schedules - intimacy often takes a backseat. Scrolling through phones or watching TV in bed can quietly replace opportunities to connect.
Wendy Troxel calls this phenomenon “technoference” - where technology interferes with face-to-face or skin-to-skin interaction. While our ancestors used pre-sleep rituals like gathering around a fire to bond and unwind, we now spend much of our evening staring at screens.
By making a conscious effort to set aside devices and prioritize physical closeness, couples can use spooning as a simple yet meaningful way to reconnect.
HOW TO MAKE SPOONING WORK FOR YOU
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Pick the Right Bed for Comfort
Spooning feels better on a bed that suits both partners. A Sloom adjustable mattress is a great choice, with its split comfort feature letting each person customise their side of the bed. No more compromising on firmness or support. -
Keep Things Cool
Snuggling can heat things up - literally. Stay comfortable by flipping Sloom’s adjustable mattress to the cooler latex side. Its breathable design helps you stay cosy without overheating, even in summer. Quality, breathable linen that is 100% cotton with a high thread count will also lead to a cooler snuggle. -
Find What Works for Both of You
Not everyone takes to spooning naturally, and that’s okay. Talk with your partner about what feels good and adjust as needed. Sometimes, a smaller gesture like holding hands or resting a foot on each other can deliver the same sense of closeness.
SNUGGLING: A SMALL ACT WITH BIG BENEFITS
Spooning isn’t just about how we fall asleep - it’s about how we connect. It’s a small, quiet act of care that strengthens emotional bonds, promotes relaxation, and fosters well-being.
At Sloom, we believe in creating sleep environments where these moments of connection happen naturally. Whether you’re the big spoon, the little spoon, or somewhere in between, don’t underestimate the power of a good snuggle.